Am I correct to distant myself from her?

I am inlove with my best friend. For the past year, I placed a lot of emotional investment on her. As a virgin in my early 40s, it is rare for me to find someone that I could find as a potential romantic prospect. When I do, something happens that never takes place in relation to romance. So when I do find someone, I try all I can do to somehow to finally achieve a romantic relationship (whereby I still fail in my quest). With this friend I am interested in, she (possibly) found somebody. Although it was not her intention, I suspect that they hooked up in my apartment a few weeks ago which makes it all the more humilitating. In my view, she has not been upfront about it possibly out of concerns for my feelings. Our (recently) very close friendship seemed to have been distanced somewhat. I used to get a text or two, a couple of phone calls, and a visit for several hours almost daily from her to now there is almost total silence from her. She did, however, call me a few days ago to see how I am doing and to wish me luck in my surgical procedure. In the middle of that phone message, she mentioned that she noticed an odd look on my face when ____ (ie.) the person I think she (might be) involved with, showed up when he came walking by. I didn't answer the phone back until yesterday to tell her about my day in relation to the doctor's visit and medical procedure. It was only a phone message, and she didn't call me back yet. I was advised by a close friend to just wait it out in relation to this guy she might be involved with since ____ is unemployed, does not have a car, and is 16 years younger than her. She's 48, and this jerk is only 32 years old. I am 42 years old myself. My feelings are hurt, but I was told by another friend that this guy is "emotional crack" and I am "emotional rehab." He's emotional crack because she is used to jerky guys and goes back to the ones that hurt her, and I play the role of emotional rehab because I am a true friend to her. So I am waiting out for about a month to see what happens and plan to be not in the picture until she contacts me again. Since I am miserable with my emotional investment down the drain and dreading another couple of years of lonlieness to get my heart broken again, I am thinking about giving up on her and giving on romance altogether if this don't play out. Am I correct to distant myself from her?