Will god forgive me for this?

My life right now Is completely miserable, I have a skin condition called Urticaria that's very painful to live with, the feeling of needles, and stinging through my skin every time I get hot, nervous, anxious,excited or really anything that raises my body temperature. I graduated from high school last year I'm 19, and as of right now I can't do anything with my life, get a job,go to school, I even fear going In public because I know somehow someway I'm gonna get those symptoms. I live In a full house of people so their Is no space that you can just relax and think to yourself, my mom Is always arguing daily, my brother has all of his friends over here daily and my mind Is so clogged, so you get where I'm going with this, I wanna just end this today man, I mean I'm not trying to make a big uproar or get attention I'm just tired of suffering every day with this ****. I went to the doctor and tried loads of medicines which doesn't work at all, antihistamines, anti-depressants you name It man. I was wondering why can't I be forgiven by god If I take my life, when there are mass murderers out there who commit countless of homicides but yet the general consensus Is that they maybe forgiven someday, when I'm just taking my own life I don't understand that at all.